The Willing Observer (c)

The Willing Observer (c)

A concept that most may find quite far removed from their ordinary thought process. How many times have you heard a sentence start with or have said yourself ‘now imagine’… Well, some people can’t. Literally.
Now imagine (!!), not being able to conjure up any image when you think. No mental picture to refer back to or ‘see’ in your mind. A total lack of what they call ‘the minds eye’. This was only discovered relatively recently in 1880 an not even investigated until 2015, when the name Aphantasia was given. For a literal translation from the Greek meaning, lack of fantasy. (A = lack of, Phantasia = Fantasy).
No visual memory system, no dreams, no pictures of any kind to accompany thought and no imagination for what isn’t there. That is where i was completely stunned, to think there are people going through life without these things at their disposal to guide, assist or help. I rely heavily on my visual memory for many things, useful and otherwise. From a early age I retain the information for films, as soon as I hear the title the picture of the cover comes to mind, I see the names, the style and then follows the other information as if I were looking at it again but fuzzier – year it came out, director, story line etc. Even for films I never actually watched, just looked at. Now if I could transfer this kind of memory to something practical it would be great, but at this time it seems to have specialized itself for one main task.
But i am so intrigued by the other side, to not have pictures in mind, to not see dreams visually or be distracted by images long since past or that aren’t even real. Why do our brains concoct fantasy so readily and so easily, why is it that 98% of the population (rough estimate at this time as it is not known how many people really have this variance) have an ability to escape from reality, a hardwired ability to imagine, pretend, fantasize, lie to themselves and everything that seems to go with it. I can see how that might be an advantage. Self denial is sometimes self preservation for us imaginers.
Only 2% of people are thought to have this different thought process, to see the world as it is to them, no frills, no fantasy and no pretend. Don’t get me wrong, visual stimulation works just as well as it does the rest of us with people, TV and modern distractions, but not after the event from what i have learned. Once it is gone, it is gone. Therefore leading to more enjoyment of the moment. No thought of what might come or of what has been, purely being in the moment. I don’t think i know how this feels, there are always thoughts in my mind and thoughts come with pictures, and they distract me into more thought. And there the moment is captured and replayed later, not enjoyed fully at the time. I knew most people thought differently and had all sorts of variations in imagination and creativity, but this is more fundamental than that. I got so much enjoyment from fiction and reading all through my life because i can imagine, because my brain can run away with itself and get lost somewhere else. And recently I had to try and justify and explain why this is, and for the life of me I just couldn’t understand why I was not being understood, if someone doesn’t imagine or see pictures when reading, then no amount of words is going to explain what it is like. There is a massive gulf between these thought processes and I am still trying to work out how this affects everyday life, learning and thinking. It may take some time…

(c) K Wicks

A discovery in the Siberian tundra turns the entire world upside down, rewriting history and setting seemingly unstoppable forces in motion. In a race against time in a quickly changing world, they must learn to adapt to survive. Will people accept their fate or fight to save an existence that was always meant to end? Can humanity survive?

New Release coming in August – The Unknown…
A discovery in the Siberian tundra turns the entire world upside down, rewriting history and setting seemingly unstoppable forces in motion. In a race against time in a quickly changing world, they must learn to adapt to survive. Will people accept their fate or fight to save an existence that was always meant to end? Can humanity survive?
(c) MKW Publishing 2017
Over the years I have given much thought to what makes a good horror film. Analysing what it was that made me jump, made me hold my breath, made me either root for the character or not, what stayed with me long after the film had ended. What is it that gets us? Is it the tension? Is is the pretense of knowing or actually seeing that scares us more? I like the subtleties a film can convey, the small details that seem insignificant at first, not brash and obvious, something to dwell on and to mull over. A darkness that creeps in, slowly and insidiously, not one that leaps from nowhere, tears your face off and retreats never to be seen again. No, no, no. I expect more from Horror, so much more…

(c) K L Wicks
The veil of technology has well and truly settled over us and we the people can barely keep up. It’s funny when you think about it, how in the age of information we know hardly anything. Because the information is now unsolicited, contrived, ego driven, littered with untruths and for anyone who can write code, there to tamper with. Although, previous information was decided by the few for the many and was not much better.
This is nothing new, we have had these concepts put forward for decades, conspiracy theorists and plotters alike are aware that there are those among us who do choose to conspire to deceive people. But being aware of this doesn’t change it.
But they are irrelevant in the bigger picture, the how, the who, the what. Because they all distract you from the why.
What they don’t want you to know, or more importantly what they don’t want you to do. To realise your position, to realise you have the ability to think for yourself, protect yourself and to understand what needs to be done for a better world.
They want you to be in fear, to not trust those around you or yourself, they want your compliance and they will do anything to get it. TV, drugs and manipulated news all play their part to feed you the information they want you to have, or to give you a social problem to tackle while they are busy deciding your future and fate.
But we feel oppressed, we feel the pressure of being herded like sheep and dulled down to fit into a Victorian model of society, of strange pleasantries and social order to which we must adhere or we are considered outcasts. Anarchists. I see them more as progressionists sometimes, the people who can see something so fundamentally wrong with the system that they must question its reason and function. How else can we consider ourselves a civilized society when we run with such an archaic underlying structure?
Anarchy is just a word, as they all are, but it’s the meaning the word implies that is important. It is a word of propaganda, given to mean a rising of the minority who don’t fit into the to system or answer to the call of a corrupt authority. By seeing it as progression-ism means some people trying to affect change, not collapse the whole system. But words can lead to ideas, and ideas can lead to change and that’s what they fear. They want to control you, want to monitor you and want to stop you…

(c) MKW Publishing 2017
I wonder a lot about things I will never know, too much time spent trying to rewrite the past or understand it. But it was what it was, it was how it was. I think I was always willing to accept it, but wanted to know what I was accepting. Wanted to try and work out why people left and didn’t come back, why people didn’t talk to each other and how it became such a mess. I thought I was equipped to deal with such issues. I though I could handle learning about my family, instead it’s raised more questions than i can find answers for. I like to work out the logic in things but sometimes you just have to accept, it is beyond reasoning.
Time has now taken it’s toll and we are fewer now, so the questions remain and once again become part of an unsolvable mystery…

(c) K Wicks

The Willing Observer – K L Wicks
(c) MKW Publishing 2015
Having enjoyed horror and psychology for much of my life, I naturally wondered if the concept of creepy and feeling scared of an unseeable force was in fact scarier than a seeable horror. Many horror films contributed to my early years and gave me nightmares and various other phobias for a number of years after, which I then sought to understand and get over. Films which would tell of a seeable, touchable, knowable horror did more damage I believe. The paranormal ones kept my imagination busy and fascinated me but did not bring the same level of fear.
So, after wondering much about the triggers of being scared and the concept of horror, I finally got round to asking the question, was I just scaring myself? Were these films just the seed planter, the suggester if you will, making my ideas turn towards the dark or sinister. Or was I always drawn towards horror, and therefore found my way there, of this I am not yet sure. I have been on a number of ‘fright night’ tours of apparently haunted locations, with other people to see if I could further my understanding or remain the sceptic on the subject of the paranormal. Also so I could observe other people doing the same for what appeared to be different reasons. I still very much remain the sceptic but with a want to believe, it would be so interesting if it was but just not enough evidence for me. Gothic locations and graveyards are still a favourite of mine but more for architecture and history rather than horror, my ideas come from a very different place…