words

A Way to Communicate

~ MKW Publishing ~ Leave a comment

It’s not all about words. How we use them, convey them and understand them, there is also much more that goes into it. Facial expressions, energy, intention and approach. We already know just words can be and are used for purpose, as discussed in Words and Meaning and Crafty, but as a general tool needed in everyday life, it seems many overlook their potential, and power when it comes to society.

People with charisma, often noted as being able to say almost anything at all, if you do it in a charismatic way. So, it is their presence that gives words something extra, their delivery and timing. Often to great effect.

Passive aggressive comments and actions – for people who don’t know how to approach a conversation, situation or because they are trying to control the atmosphere and want people to either respond, or be dominated by their words. The ones who sigh under their breath, make comments to thin air, but expect anyone within earshot to say something or ask about their plight. Who clatter around in a rageful way, but act surprised when questioned what their problem might be. In fact, not just surprised, but offended. Look at me, don’t look at me kind of thing.

Shouting at people, not quite as effective as some people think. You may indeed get your basic point across, but often it is invalidated by the approach. Trying to let someone know how you feel, by making them feel bad, isn’t a good approach, and shouting is a good way to let them know a few things as well. Firstly, that you are not in control of your emotions, and once someone has lost control and started down that route, unfortunately trying to talk to them normally doesn’t work. So, you get dragged into shouting back in order to even be able to ‘talk’ to them. And secondly, they are being disrespectful towards you by raising their voice and using aggressive tactics.

How to Win Friends and Influence People – a book by Dale Carnegie. And one I was recommended to read many years ago. I enjoyed it very much, but already worked out certain things along the way just through paying attention. Being aware of the ways in which you approach things and people, you can end up getting the best out of people and situations, as I thought you were meant to. Yet some people get so very stuck in their ways, and believe others are the issue, or the obstacle holding them back. Not quite realising that it is they who are the obstruction, to their own life running a bit more smoothly. The internet having much to look at when it comes to interactions and how people decide to conduct themselves in a somewhat public setting, looked at in the article Putting Your Best Foot Forward. Where you do get to see the best and the worst of people, but only in words and in a well thought out and packaged format. And occassionally with a video and a face to emote what they want to, but not the full package of expressions you would expect when in person. Where you can see for yourself, and you can also feel for yourself. That skill we have of reading energy is stronger in person, and maybe part of the reason online is encouraged so much. For dating, education, finance, emotions, health, work, friendships and more. It diminishes part of our abilities to evaluate people properly, which for many is already impaired or non-existent.

When it comes to understanding people though, I have found certain quotes along the way have also been of great help, just to know that others have observed and encountered the same thing. And then went on to so eloquently explain the problem or lack or reasoning occurring in the conversational counterpart.

“She had lost the art of conversation but not, unfortunately, the power of speech.” ~George Bernard Shaw~

“I know you think you understand what you thought I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” ~Alan Greenspan~

And it’s easy to get confused, with different meanings, intentions and interpretations of things. Which is why I think it is so important to be able to discuss, in a constructive way, what those differences or misunderstanding are. And if not, then just stop talking, and go your own merry way…

(c) MKW Publishing

It Seems We’re Trapped… (poetry)

~ MKW Publishing ~ 2 Comments

It seems we’re trapped in a grand delusion

Hypnotized by a group illusion

Drip fed horror, seasoned with fear

With extras of grief, making it clear

How we are viewed, as though wood for the fire

As expendable products they want to expire

Giving the tools to dehumanise

Then it becomes like it was in their eyes

Rather than helping and giving some hope

Instead, they look down and hand you the rope

Making it harder to just get on by

Nudging and wanting you just to comply

But behind that deal to help you to cope

It’s just a different type of rope

To keep you tied to the systems need

Consuming people, it seems that greed

~

Has taken over

(c) MKW Publishing

Words and Meaning

~ MKW Publishing ~ 12 Comments

It seems words are being used in a very strange game at the moment, and to be honest, have always been used in some way, to control, dictate and define society and the way we are educated to understand basic things. Now they are being weaponised in a new way though, or at least new to us in this time. Already covered a bit in my article What’s In A Name, from the point of view of what you are called for your given name, and how some people use that as a basis to feel victimised. However, on top of that debacle, there is a separate yet related one making itself known too.

Terms being introduced to redefine the words of womanhood and female related issues. You may have heard some of them, chestfeeder instead of breastfeeding, birthgiver instead of mother, and now the absolute zinger of – Bonus Hole instead of using anatomical terms, so vagina is out, bonus hole is in. Woman are starting to sound like a variety of ‘rides’ at the fairground. Start with the birthgiver game, moving onto the chestfeeding section, finally winning the bonus hole round. And maybe it is a game to the ones who seek to infiltrate and redefine things for others of the female persuasion. I read an article the other day about menopause as I was interested to see how they would word it, and as I suspected, not one mention of the word woman. I am also quite bemused by the strange term being attributed to those who do not partake in a same sex ‘lifestyle’, that it seems necessary for everyone to be renamed and labelled, so there is no normal. Personally, it makes me chuckle every time I see ‘CIS’, partly because it is a label that someone else has decided to allocate to people, and partly because in my world, it means construction industry scheme, so is a tax status, not a sexual orientation. Buy hey, who am I to tell people what words they can and can’t use and what they mean or don’t mean, honestly, I love words and their meanings. How those meaning came to be defined, and redefined for purpose and general use.

And that is it really, the purpose. Look at what words have achieved so far, just in the last few years so many have been twisted and commandeered, and those that can’t be, it seems some of those are up for being removed altogether if they get in the way of ‘social advancement’. Because words can cause feelings, and feelings can be used against people, so you go back a step and work out what words will be most hurtful, meaningful and useful. As we know, within racism there are certain words that have been clearly weaponised and used for the purpose of negativity and making people feel bad, belittled and inferior. That’s literally what they are designed for, on all sides, towards different colours, genders, ideas, looks, religion etc. All of these differences are just variances of the same thing, yet people fight over them, to the death in some cases, usually started or spurned on with words.

Categories and Labels help to divide people, and vanity and ego play their part to allow people to want to be separated out. But it is an odd thing to see segregation making a comeback, I genuinely thought people wouldn’t want to be racially separated again, having hated it and fought it when it was against a certain group. But I now see white people being excluded from a comedy club which wanted a black only audience, a black only graduation, businesses that only want to serve black customers. Which kind of threw me I guess, thinking everyone wanted to be accepted in the same society and as equals. People really are people though, whatever their location, upbringing, heritage and ideals – they are all susceptible of falling into the same trap. Selectivism perhaps, or just hypocritical maybe. Becoming that which you claim to hate the most, must be an odd way to live. And equally odd, trying to be that which you clearly hate. I guess it’s the recent BLM hoo-ha that made me do a double take on it all, hearing some incredibly racist things which are now deemed acceptable because it was the ‘oppressed’ group saying it. Shocking, or not if you understand people are people, are some of them are very hateful in nature. It doesn’t matter what colour people are, it’s what they say and do that shocks or interests me, not what their exterior skin sack looks like…

(c) K Wicks