I have written before about Reacting, and of the reasons why some people might not be functioning correctly in More Than Pain Gets Killed.
But when you combine the elements of being conditioned, drugged, and deceived for a lifetime, I start to see why many people can’t seem to work things out. Or feel the type of emotion one might expect at what is going on. Instead, there is a strange mindset that seems to have occurred, quite subconsciously, perhaps, where it knows it isn’t functioning properly, so it compensates. The brain is quite astounding, marvellous, and mysterious when it comes to creating a workaround for things.
People also develop coping mechanisms and have trouble verbalising what they are going through. Or can, but don’t have an outlet for it, and learn to deal with things internally. Which in itself can be a problem, lost in your own mind kind of things, trapped in your own bubble with only your perspective for reasoning. It can be…limiting.
Of course, there are people who are of limited emotional capacity anyway, and various categories of type we can put people into. One of them discussed in Do We All Have It In Us?
And on top of how strange life can be anyway, with society pulling you this way and telling you that, they rewrite things as they see fit. An Error, But A Big One covers some issues around psychiatry and the drugs that lurk behind the ideas. And just how destructive they can be.
And Virtually Real Life delving into why many people are losing a general will to even be alive, let alone solve the puzzle while they are here. Or their brain has decided its survival depends on playing along with the grand illusion as familiar can be more comforting than the unknown. While others are clear that it must not be allowed to run its course on the projected path that has been outlined. I have written many articles already around The Great Divide and how we appear to have Separate Realities, yet manage to coexist, or at least did.
Because it has been so long now of them Holding Us Back, it seems as though too many have missed out on a real life. Real thoughts and emotions, real feelings that are your own and normal. Instead, it’s been a jumble of routines, procedures, and tests. Regulations, systems, and one big merry-go-round to keep everyone on the playground. So Much Is Wrong About This, it’s hard to know where to start when it comes to breaking it down, but I’ll keep trying…
I’m going to talk about people movement again, specifically the people that seem to be coming over in droves according to the news. Same in the US actually, with their southern border being a major crossing point, with hundreds crossing each day, as with us over here on this much smaller landmass, the UK. And although we are surrounded by water, it makes no difference as boats are sent to help and rescue people making their way over. It’s been a great way to divide people, firstly by encouraging people to leave their home, by whatever method, then they have split the populations of where they are arriving, as not all see it as a genuine endeavour. And that’s what I will look at here, despite having written articles on this already in Hotel California, or Hotel Strategy? And On the ground, because really, being honest, most people don’t just up and leave en masse unless there is a reason. Either where they are isn’t ideal anymore, or somewhere else is better. And now factor into that, deliberately orchestrated events to force that movement, or lies to make out ‘over there’ sounds better than it is, because maybe where they are is rich in something they don’t know about, like minerals, oil, gold, water, all sorts of things that are of value to the commercial world. It’s horrible to realise how many people have been displaced deliberately, for no good reason other than profits and power, and still continue to be.
Refugee = a person who has been forced to leave their country in order to escape war, persecution, or natural disaster.
This was and is the definition currently for refugee, and for many, it fits. Because the wars and destabilisation over the decades have been many, not just internally, they have been interfered with from afar, but in an up close and personal way. Military bases all over the world, most of them for the US, but the UK does alright there too, and other countries are moving in on that. But not on the whole, it seems quite obvious who the troublemakers are, the bullies who just can’t leave everyone alone to get on, they have to be involved and pulling the strings.
And although in the last few years the Archbishop of Canterbury has thrown his worshippers under the bus, and sided with a tyrannical government on things, I actually agree with his one of his recent tweets, in which he states that
“When we fail to challenge the rhetoric that refugees are the cause of this country’s ills – that they are problems not people, or invaders to be tackled and deterred – we deny the essential value and dignity of fellow human beings.”
And he is right mostly, but no-one wants to really talk about what is the cause of this country’s ills. Just saying what they aren’t is all well and good, but to then completely skip over what they are is foolish in my opinion. Because while there is claim to be looking at the new arrivals as people and fellow human beings, how can you possible be looking at them with compassion and like that when you are putting them into a slowly boiling pot. I have suspected for a while that they are being used as pawns as we are, and will be dropped like a stone when the time comes, just like we have. So, we are all in the same boat (pardon the pun), but not everyone seems to know there is a massive leak, and they are just going to keep putting more people in the boat until you all drown, they care not for any of us, whether we are from here, or aboard. And I don’t entirely agree with him dismissing the idea that some of these people arriving, do bring problems with them, or are a problem, just as we have here already. Being from somewhere else doesn’t make you any less human, but with that comes all the attributes of humans, the good and the bad. And from what we have seen so far from the mainly male ‘refugees’ in large numbers put in hotels, there appears to be a steady increase of harassment towards women and young girls, and intimidating behaviour going on. Because that is what happens when you have droves of young people, dossing around kicking their heels, and getting handouts. People have been moaning about it for years about people here having that treatment, so why is it a surprise, in the middle of a massive financial and governmental crisis, that people might question, what the hell is going on. Why is our money, of which we are told there is none, being used to house, feed, cloth and set up people who have just arrived, when clearly ignoring your local population? In fact, not just ignoring, but actively going out of your way to take more off them, and to hurt and destroy areas of your local population while doing it. Would seem weird if a man was out with his wife, and for no reason, he just started to ignore her, refused to pay for her meal, or to get her home, and then just started treating a stranger to full slap-up meal and fawning all over them. You would think he was being super disrespectful and somewhat of an arse, wouldn’t you? Or would you have a go at the wife for saying something and being hurt and treated that way? Saying she was out of order for not putting the strangers or her husbands feelings before hers.
And this is where the part of the problem lies, being told to put others before yourself, to the detriment of yourself is taking it too far. There is a time for compassion, and to show empathy to your fellow human being, but, and I stress the but here, not at the cost of you, yours and what is right for you. Because in the blink of an eye, you suddenly become them. And they do say, most people are only one pay cheque away from being homeless, just look at America to see what’s happening, on a bigger scale in their cities. Zombie like drug addicts standing around like buckled statues, tents everywhere, rubbish, boarded up broken shops. Remnants of what used to be normal and nice. They opened the door to everything, and we let it in. I don’t mean people, I mean vice, and temptation, and ego. Gave it all a place, platform and position in society, making that more important and taking your attention away from what really should be important. I’ll go back to the main definition too here – for a refugee to be so, they need to be escaping war, persecution, or natural disaster. Now, war and natural disaster would appear to be quite cut and dry, but it’s the middle one that seems to be the main ticket at the moment. Although, let’s be honest, there have been plenty of war like situations created as well as economic disasters and famines. So, it’s not hard to see how and why there is a genuine need for some people, and mostly those people don’t want to leave their home, they just don’t have one anymore and are being forced out through strategic economic and political reasons. That is not the same as thousands of people, just appearing to jump ship from their own country, to someone else’s.
Persecution = hostility and ill-treatment, especially on the basis of ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation or political beliefs.
So, what is defined as hostility is this instance? Because our own government appears to be treating lots of its own people in a hostile way, based on either ethnicity, sexual orientation and political beliefs. They should add medical beliefs to that now too, as we are entering a new era of things to persecute people for, rather than protect them against. Because while all these people are being moved around, uprooted, and are being redefined themselves, they are finding new ways and things to divide people up with, as well as utilising the good old-fashioned prejudices we hold anyway. I understand the problem, countries that are not at war or in distress, seem to have an awful lot of people ‘jumping ship’ as I mentioned above, which leads me to question that, as others are. Why? Is there something better being offered to them over here? Looks pretty shit at the moment and for the near future in the UK for business and the economy, so why would people want to still come here? Ah, yes, the freebies and handouts. If we weren’t giving people accommodation and living expenses and promises of more, would they still come? If it was only opportunity to earn a living and find your own way on offer, would we still get the numbers? Because many say, and I think the same, if you come here and want to work and get stuck in, then by all means, join in. No matter your colour or place of origin, it’s the mentality that matters. Because we have the same attitude towards ‘our own’ and have been moaning about ‘benefit scroungers’ for near on 30 years at least, even when the economy was doing vaguely ok. Because it’s really obvious that if you just keep giving handouts, and don’t let people get on, they will become dependent. Voila, the point of it. They will become dependent.
Children are usually looked after because they can’t look after themselves (and because it’s the parent’s responsibility), but we call them dependents. Duly looking to their parent for guidance, emotional support, financial and educational support. Then they grow up, and go off into the world to do that for themselves. But if they can’t, are unable, or won’t, then the natural progression doesn’t go where it should. I get the feeling that we, and the new arrivals, are supposed to be part of the strange new ‘parent world’ they want to have, where we are all treated like children, and made to be their dependents. Like some sick fetish the government has of wanting everyone to be like squabbling children, then they can intervene, ‘punish’ us, or put weird rules in place to ‘see what happens’. Like a really odd controlling parent or teacher might do, because it gives them the power, being able to ‘tell you off’ or ‘put you in your place’, which is what seems to be occurring here. And I have to keep wondering, as many do, at what point does someone in a position of power actually stand up and do something about it?
For some, it may well be an unrealised youth, you hear the phrase ‘living through their kids’, to imply that someone missed the boat, and gets a second chance through their kids. A worrying concept. It could also be the case though, that they did realise their youth, and it was just fine, but the opportunity to ‘do it over’ sort of presents itself with your offspring, or just with time. We hear of people having a mid-life crisis and wanting to do impetuous things associated with youthfulness, but unfortunately many aren’t able to fund those ideas at the age we might want to do them. So, I can see why when you get to an age when you can, or maybe of a certain mindset, it can seem like a mid-life crisis, but maybe it’s just a normal life thing to happen. For some. But trying to have a life through others, is a dangerous game to play. There are various scenarios where it can manifest, not just with parents and children of course, partners, friends, colleagues, and even in the weirdest set-ups, strangers. Whether it is because they cannot form a proper life on their own, or they are dependent on others energy and attention I’m not sure, each case would be different.
In the worst-case scenarios those, we have Munchausen-by-proxy, and a well-known case of it here in the UK, where a nurse killed children, to get off on the drama and attention that then surrounded that child needing help. And there have been many cases, but on an individual level, where it’s just one mother and child, and a ‘mystery illness’, lots of attention through the other person. And perhaps there are men who do it too, but no stories spring to mind, so far I have only read about it being women, and that being said, only the ones that got caught.
With other relationships, it can be just as unhealthy, any kind of dependency on others like that. For attention, energy, validation, continuous emotional support and other things that, in the right dose, would be fine, and normal. But when it becomes a want for those things, or a craving that extends beyond normal human interaction, that’s when it gets weird. And not always as noticeable as you might think, because the person on the receiving end needs to able to firstly, spot what is going on, and secondly, have the strength of character to deal with it. Nipping it in the bud they call it, halting something dead in its tracks before it can go any further and mutate into a weirder version of itself. Knowing when someone is being entirely self-serving may seem like an obvious spot, but sadly, it’s not always so. And worse than that, are some who in some strange way, convince themselves that they are trying to help the person – on both sides. Desperately so in some cases, because it would appear they develop a severe attachment and dependency disorder, and then require the subject of their fixation, ideally, to return that dependency. For both sides, it gives them a sense of control, albeit a temporary and superficial one, and possibly even alleys some of the more outlandish behaviour that would reveals the instability in all it’s crazy glory. And perhaps, that is why some people on the receiving end, indulge that behaviour, or go along with it as best they can, for those seemingly calmer, more stable moments and to avoid ‘the drama’ or ‘the tantrum’. And sometimes it needs to be called out, and exposed for what it is, because in the face of scrutiny, often does not hold up as valid, and they know that, so will try to avoid having anyone else be able to speak against it or question it.
Being able to understand where people are coming from is incredibly important, to be able to grasp their motive and intention towards you, and understanding yours towards them equally so. It can help greatly, but between people hiding their true intentions, and people not always being confident enough to ask question, or fully interpret the answers, we are often left with confusing interactions and experiences. That isn’t anything new though, and why people talk about body language as a source of information to know what’s really going on with someone. Unfortunately, there is no hard and fast manual for it through, each person will have a slightly different version of a ‘tell’ or ‘giveaway behaviours’, which to people who have the gift, can see it straight away. Others need coaching, and some will never see it, despite trying. And just as there are varying degrees of being able to work people out for good or to help them, there are those who use it for nefarious purposes and to hold people back. To detect the fears and vulnerabilities in people, the easily led and the ones they can take advantage of, and use those fears against them. Mostly for their own gain, but sometimes just for the meanness of it, because they can. The spiteful type, you know the ones, who carry around so much bitterness and hatred, it seems to ooze out of them and spill over into normal life. There is so much to do, and think about, that there really doesn’t seem time to be hateful towards others. If they have done wrong, swift justice, no more thought. If they are awful, cut them out of your life, no more thought. Do you see a pattern there? Not only do some people waste a big portion of their lives doing something they hate, or being around people they don’t like, that when they do stop being around that, they forget to enjoy things, and keep that hateful attitude. So, they waste more time talking and thinking about something that has passed, and is gone, and is only being kept alive by their want to keep it so. Maybe it becomes so familiar, they don’t know how to leave it behind. Give time and thought to that which deserves it, and take action on that which needs it, and when it comes to interactions with others, work out whether it is you who is giving your time, or if it is someone or something taking it…
There is much being talked about to do with boats, migrants, hotels, handouts and where exactly this all leads. So, I’ll do a point by point review of what I think the issues are, from a practical and logical view.
A staggering influx – if we are to believe the actual numbers (they lie a lot so sometimes you have to remember to adjust for that), they are quite shocking for a small island. But it’s not that people coming here is the problem in itself. It’s the method being used to get here, and the strange constant allocating of resources for them, with what appears to be ‘no strings attached’. Well, we know that’s usually never the case, the hidden small print will come back to bite you eventually. There’s no free ride covers that a bit. But it would appear, that for whatever reason, native people are being thrown into the gutter, while unknowns from anywhere are being put above them. It’s obvious and calculated, as is the response when it’s pointed out. You must be racist, or a bigot, or selfish. And I’m sure there are those who may indeed have those ideals behind their thoughts. But on the whole, it’s just a clear-cut scenario of being pushed out of the way by your own government, while they try to fall over themselves to ‘provide for refugees’. Like a spouse ignoring their partner who they are contractually obliged to be loyal to, to fawn over another person, right in their face. You’d expect them to be a bit pissed off, wouldn’t you?
Creating the problem – I won’t deny, there have been some awful warfare campaigns that have played out over the last few decades. Creating vast numbers of refugees that it seems have then been further used as pawns in political strategies. Displacement has been encouraged and a theory on that covered in On the ground, but generally it gives them the human leverage they need to destabilise areas of communities. And why would you want to do that you may ask? We’ll get to that.
Hotels – again I have written about this in Hotel California or Hotel Strategy, but it’s clear to see something is going on. Block booking of hotels, some incredibly posh ones too at 4 and 5 stars, so they can accommodate anyone who rocks up without any form of ID. Which does seem odd don’t you think? After a 100 years of passports, and border control, for some reason as they near a digital ID system, they suddenly don’t care if you arrive by water stealthily, or by way of naval taxi. (Which also makes me think they literally could be coming from anywhere, you might be thinking Europe or Africa, I’m thinking somewhere more secret and hidden and underground, but that’s one of my ‘wild theories’). But back to the hotels, by putting them there, you do a number of things, firstly you remove that Hotel from being a tourist location, meaning no tourists, less holiday locations, less people spending money. Secondly, it concerns and annoys lots of locals and natives as they then know groups of young men with a different mindset loitering will become commonplace. Thirdly, they appear to sacking most of the staff once these people are in, so it’s a lose lose for locals and the wider communities. And the extra kicker is, the government gloat in telling us how much of our money they are using to pay for others entire lifestyles. (Oh and in the same breath telling you how there’s no money! Fucking cheek of it).
The cost – as I mentioned above, taxpayers money is what’s being used to pay for all this. Well, that and lots of debt for said taxpayers and their children, and their grandchildren. A minimum of £5million a day they say. A day! It’s shocking really when you add up how much they have stolen from the people in the last few years (and a lot longer I’m sure). But billions here, billions there, chuck some for a ‘war’, here’s some more for ‘test and trace’. All the while letting local resources go to shit. If you keep chucking a cup around, it’s going to crack or break. And if you then keep trying to pour into it, there will be an overspill. That’s where we are. The cup is already cracked and chipped, and they seem hell bent on smashing it and chucking it away. We’ll end up like all those bits of old pottery they always find in archaeological digs. The last remnants of what once was. Because the cost is in more than just financial and monetary terms, it’s costing people’s time, emotions, finances and in some cases, their lives.
Destabilising – as I mentioned above, it seems to be destabilising of communities they are after, the ones that are still left at least. And I don’t blame immigration for the breakdown in society, its values or ideals. It’s the mechanisms which seem to put that movement of people in place. It’s not natural and isn’t ever allowed to run its course properly or find its own way. With borders, rules, regulations and so on, they create devastating results. Many famines could have been avoided if people were allowed to relocate, or the land hadn’t been stripped by industry. It seems we create our own problems as people, but that’s not a shocking revelation now is it. It’s been seen time and again, and now is no different.
But what is different is how they all now seem to converge. Bringing together orchestrated mayhem. They get multiple birds with one stone I feel with all of the above. They get to screw over the local areas and population, while manipulating the newcomers as stooges. Allowing it to reach boiling point. There is a simple video of ants online, in a jar. Red ants, and black ants, and they are managing OK alongside each other quite well. Until a person comes in and gives the jar a good shake, then sets it down again. Now the ants aren’t so happy side by side, angered and activated, they begin to fight each other. If you don’t get it, we are the ants, and the government is the one shaking the jar. There being an outcome to that seems inevitable…
It’s not hard to see in real time what the environment around them does to living things. Every person who has had a houseplant, and maybe struggled with keeping it in the best condition, will know what I mean. Or grown anything in a pot, where you are responsible for its wellbeing. It may seem obvious but I’ll spell it out, because people remind me of plants with the same need for nourishment and optimal conditions for the best chance of a healthy life.
If you put a plant in a dark corner, a pot that’s too small and don’t give it water regularly, it starts to look haggard. Drained and tired, struggling to hold on and make the best of itself. It’s awful once you realise it’s your fault, but can be fixed. A new bigger pot, fresh earth, water, sunlight. And within a couple of days, it picks up, starts to look fresher and more vibrant. Signifying the conditions are suitable.
The same can be said of people, and any living animal or organism. If the conditions are just right, they can flourish and grow, and if the conditions are not, it can turn them into a tired, stressed, strained, possibly angry version of their former selves. There are internal as well as the external conditions to take into account as well like nutrients, exercise, light and sleep, but they all play a part. This is why when the environment around us is engineered to be stressful, with fear and compliance as a driver, it will have an effect. When they talk of shutting things down again, dimming the sun and restricting your food, water and energy, it starts a mental process that leads into the physical one.
So, it really does boggle my mind that so many people, teachers, parents, education authorities all at the same time just threw children mentally under the bus when it came to lockdowns. Don’t get me wrong, I am no fan of the education system, and believe they are indoctrination centres for the early stages of development. But to have the whole system reorganised in an instant pretty much, with the timetables and goalposts changed constantly, and disappointment and grief thrown in to boot, it was a lot from the get go. Emotional, educational and developmental disruption was obvious, which is why it astounded me so much to hear people minimise it, or plain dismiss it. ‘They are resilient’ we heard. I won’t lie, I was shocked and knew what would follow when it finally became too obvious to hide, that they weren’t all just going to bounce back, and weren’t just able to breeze through unscathed in mind, body and emotional development.
That bring me back to plants, seedlings, and small budding plants. When they are in that crucial stage of development, if there are extra stressful circumstances, like lack of water, infections, not enough food, light, or space, it can severely affect the overall development and growth. Some can overcome these extra conditions and then thrive, if they are temporary and then corrected. Not all though. But left in the small, overcrowded, sub-standard conditions, life can survive and struggle on, but in a very limited condition and certainly not all make it, and not many thrive. So, I keep this in mind when I think of people and society, and of the daily environment that surrounds us, and of the expectations placed upon everyone to thrive and survive within that. Making sure to take responsibility for those areas when it is within your capability and not leaving it to someone else, because they may be trying to use a one size fits all approach or are working to something that benefits them and their environment or situation. Be the master of your own destiny, as the saying goes…
My understanding is that there are three perceptions of self that make up the whole view we create of ourselves, to ourselves on a basic level.
1) How we view ourselves
2) How we view other people, and
3) How we think other people perceive us.
You might think it’s just a given that people can understand these things that contribute towards your identity, internally and externally. But that’s not always so. Did you ever meet someone who seems to give no thought to how others view them? Some people just don’t care, I’m aware of that, but others completely lack the ability to view themselves from an outside viewpoint. That old saying we have of ‘put yourself in their shoes’ is for this very concept I believe. But not everyone actually can it seems, so it’s just a phrase to them.
Firstly though, there is how you view yourself. The perception of who you are, what you are and how you came to be. Formed through various experiences and actions, people, places, thoughts, feelings and time. You. But it’s not that simple is it, because along the way through all of that, there have been outside influences which have helped to shape that viewpoint and not everyone has had the time, space or inclination in their life to give it real thought. So, is it really you?
Secondly, how we view others. This is also based around you, and what you have taken in over your lifetime as with above. Many people have a judgemental view or like to presume things about others based on those perceptions, rather than facts. Others take a different view and fact find to build a sound assessment of someone, but it will still be based on perceptions usually, even once in possession of the facts.
And thirdly, how we think others view us, because we can’t really know for sure even if they tell us, we don’t see through others eyes, so can only have a projected imaginary view of this. Within that, that there are some people who have no concept of what others think of them, or the view they have, but we presume everyone can. We like to think though, that most people are able to understand that other people will see them in a certain way if they behave or act in a certain way. This is also influenced by a number of things, mainly how you present yourself to the outside world. Many people have suffered disappointment at not being viewed as they wished, although they have no idea why. The expectation not living up to reality. On both sides.
Perceptions of how we think we are meant to be and how we believe others should see us, is often at a discord to reality, (which is itself perceived) but possibly is why some people latch onto delusional thinking. It’s easier for them to remain in their own construct, rather than understand and learn about other peoples and yourself. And they often argue or fight to keep their delusions in place because it’s easier and familiar and takes no work at all. It can just remain. It can sometimes be a long arduous process to think outside of yourself, but one that seems really important, even if it’s just to get to know yourself a bit better.
It seems there has been an overload. Of information and circumstances and frankly it appears that people are becoming overwhelmed. It’s not by accident, and serves a purpose. While people are taking proverbial punches left right and centre, it’s very difficult to view the bigger picture, or to even know which way is up.
Not everyone has the capacity to deal with multiple lines of thought, or if they can, could also be hampered in doing so by a multitude of personal experiences taking all your time and thought processes. For some they have been dealing with fear, grief, anger, trauma, shock, worry from various aspects of life. Employment, financial, emotional and societal. And now some are stepping forward (and have been trying for a while) to highlight medical errors and injuries from the roll out of their plan by way of injections, and health issues from delayed treatments.
It’s a lot to take on board and deal with. Add to that the label of conspiracy theorist as soon as you question the narrative or point out the obvious corruption occurring. Some people don’t want to know, that much is now clear. I wonder whether they just can’t unravel or understand the bigger picture, or are choosing to ignore it or deny it. I would have thought it’s undeniable by this stage what is happening, but apparently not.
But two years of bullshit and propaganda now moving into three is wearing people down. You can see it, the ones who were disconnected before are seemingly even further gone now. Those who knew are holding fast, but its tiring and draining and there all the time, even if we manage to get a break or switch off for a bit. It’s going to be a bumpy ride from here on out, so get all the rest you can.
It’s not a nice thing to know your fellow man (and woman) are capable of such stark levels of cruelty towards each other and other sentient creatures. I have read a few news stories lately which reminded me of a feeling I carried for much of my life, a bewilderment I guess that people who walked and talked like me, could do such awful things. I read about lots of grisly things when i was young and growing up, but two incidents stayed with me in particular, both within a couple of years of each other. I was 12 when James Bulger was killed, and was more than horrified by this terrible atrocity. It was perpetrated by kids, only a year or two younger than myself and I was shocked being honest. I didn’t know it could happen like that, I thought us kids were the ones who had to be frightened of adults, not other kids. It changed my view somewhat of my peers at the time. My mother was equally horrified and it was no accident I had read all the serial killer books in our house, they were hers. But I didn’t know of another tale of the past, another equally shocking event. Mary Bell. If you haven’t heard of her, look her up, but the thoughts should not be with her, they should be with her two young victims and their families. She has been released with a new identity just as with the 1993 killers. Odd isn’t it, that we would go to such lengths to give new lives to the coldest and disturbed in our society, and then let them back out to ‘integrate’.
The other incident in the news, was Fred West. It was shocking, and there have been others as you well know, but those two within a short time hit home that we aren’t all like each other, and people’s motives can be very dark and twisted indeed.
There have been many recent stories that have reminded me of the cold heart some humans have (or lack of heart completely), but two got me thinking again about the senselessness of it all. A poor boy murdered by his parents and dumped in a river. A young man almost starved to death after being locked away in an attic by his parents. Such a personal level of cruelty, up close and very personal, family in fact. So is it really so hard to believe that if people can be that cruel to family and ‘loved ones’, they could be equally so to others. What are they capable of towards strangers?
And what of the ones who were like those children, but maybe never got caught, had some self-control or restraint, and then grew up to be the adult version of that. The ones who perhaps understood that you can still torture people and ruin them without ending their life, but just by making it miserable. And when they see you are distressed and harmed (emotionally or physically), it makes them happy as that is their purpose. I do suspect that those are the type of people now in charge of the behaviour unit and the government, and that those type of people have infiltrated most levels of society where you have a middle-man service. I touched upon that briefly in my article It Looked Sinister, because I had already realised we are being dictated to by some very cold and heartless people. And they usually want to have power over people, in some capacity. So, I will always look at those who make their way into positions of power, whether it be law enforcement and justice, teaching, medicine, entertainment, business and any other walk of like where they ‘need’ to be around people. And it’s a tough one, because alongside those people are the complete opposite, the ones who do care, and want to help and make sure others flourish and bring a bit of good into others’ lives. So, what do we do? They look the same, wear the same uniform and say the same things – how do we know? And that is the big one isn’t it – how do we know who is a good person and who is a bad person? We don’t, because it’s not that simple. Good and bad is a bit of simplification of what goes on internally and emotionally, so to paint it a simple thing is misleading to the thought process I feel needs to be engaged for it.
Let’s look at it in a more basic and helpful way. Not whether they are good or bad, but does this person mean me harm? And that could be any harm, physical, emotional, financial, whatever is it. Take away the good and bad, as they can confuse the problem. How many times have people got away with things because they ‘seem like a good person’ or appeared to be as such. Or someone was damned because they were a ‘bad person’ to either you or someone else. Notable, but ultimately irrelevant. Because we all know that someone can be an arse to someone else, but not to us, so we shouldn’t judge people on that, but we do. Sometimes people make lots of excuses for wrongdoing because they were a ‘good person’ and they get away with it, and just so, people are judged harshly whatever they do, because they have been judged to be a ‘bad person’.
We should really be assessing whether someone means us harm and what they are motivated by. And re-assessing it again, and again, and again as necessary. Because people change, as do their motives and intentions and sometimes circumstances, and the moment you realise their intention has changed to a harmful one or one of hinderance towards you, it must be addressed. Acceptance can save people an awful lot of hassle in their life, just accepting it is what it is. That doesn’t mean you have to be demoralised by it, in fact it can be quite the opposite and motivating for you to move forward. We are the change we are looking for…
It’s no secret that people see things differently to each other, think differently and react differently. It’s pointed out to us often, within men and women hugely – a classic book I never got round to reading springs to mind – Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus. I have heard this book mentioned and referred to by title on many ocassions (never an actual quote). But almost possibly to deflect from the fact those differences can cause issues and it’s easier to breeze over them and wave them away as ‘they just are’ rather than address them. It can be hard to get along with, communicate effectively with and have a balanced relationship with someone if you are unaware of why or how you are different. Just acknowledging it exists isn’t really enough in my opinion if it’s a fundamental one. We give people many excuses for their behaviour often without delving into the reason for it. Or think that by giving it reasoning can go someway to excusing it. Not in my mind. I like to know the why, it usually helps me to determine any possible conslusion, judgment or result that may need to occur.
There are many reasons why people don’t get along, and with some people you never will. But I find it interesting to understand why, even if the fault lies with me, it’s still good to know that. There are lots of important lessons around this I think, helping to form how we see the world, how we think the world see us, if people have that concept. But understanding why you are different can actually help you to fit in. Not in the tradiontional sense of adapting to others ways and fitting into their pattern – but finding your own fit. To a point, we all have to get along; living side by side and weaving our way through life together (unless you have removed yourself from having to). But finding out who are can be a tough one and coming up against others opinions, ideals or wills can be a challenge when they clash with your own. In this modern time of instant and sometimes public ommunication, being aware of the impact of influences is important.
But it should also be factored in that ideals, thoughts and perpsectives can change with time and experience. Your own and other peoples. It would be odd to expect to be the same person at 40 that you were at 20, impossible in my view. So it shouldn’t be a suprise that you may ‘outgrow’ people as they say, or ‘drift apart’ or simply just change. All of those can be correct, and are ok. But if poth parties aren’t aware or mature enough to really understand that, then there can be difficluties and I guess, arguments and fall outs. It’s not easy when you may have outgrown someone, but they haven’t you.
On top of personality and general interest differences, there are the fundamental ones that can affect things. For that I will reference one that can go completely undetected, for decades and even life, but is a really important one in my recent experience. The ability to visualise in mind. Some people can’t. Most people can apparently, and there is a percentage who over visualise. Although they don’t actually know, they have presumed that only 2% can’t visualise – calling this Aphantasia, the small percentage, maybe 10% they say over visualise – called Hyperphantasia. And everyone else they say is on a varying scale of being able to visualise between not at all and all the time. That is what they used as the base ‘normal’ level.
I didn’t know this was a thing, until well into my 30’s. All my life I have visualised, over visualised and remembered much, places, dates, times, people, events, amounts, information. Usually relevant to my life, some of it outside events and extremely useless trivia that seems to hang around of it’s own accord. I naively presumed that everyone did this. So, the applecart in my mind was well and truly tipped over, when through various discussions and disagreements between myself and my husband, I discovered through continued questioning and reasoning what I consider to be a fundamental difference, and one that was actually the root of many of the issues. He did not visualise. At all. It sounds small doesn’t it? He doesn’t ‘see’ pictures in his head, and I do, what’s the big deal? I wish it weren’t one, and that it was just as easy as he is left handed and I am right handed. But the nature of what unfolded from that was more complex – there were different areas it affected firstly between us, and then indivdually. We also both had to content with understanding we really aren’t like each other or everyone else. And being honest, it can throw you sideways a bit when you just thought you were average and like everyone else. Then also realising that no-one else is really who you thought they were either. It can bring a whole lot of questions, and did. Opening a few more strange doors into self knowledge that I couldn’t help but venture into.
I then tried to work through it all and address which areas I felt it affected and why, trying to help my husband adjust to this new knowledge and explain to him as best I could, what is going on in peoples minds. While at the same time trying to integrate this new aspect of thought into my own assessments, of myself and others. It was a game changer for me and has given me an entirely different perspective on my past, present and future, and how I view and try to understand other people.
If you would be interested to read more about this experience, my book Meeting in the Middle of Nowhere is available on Amazon.
MKW Publishing 