The Internet gives all types of people a platform, and in that I have found it can be used to present the very worst of yourself, or indeed the very best. And lots of in between. But this is looking at the worst.

Why is it that some people appear to be happy to expose that part of themselves, either through a hateful, nasty,  aggressive attitude or whatever undesirable trait steps forth? And of course, what is undesirable to one, may not be to another, so opinion matters in this. Where a world of ‘cancel culture’ has been invented they say, to shout down those who are not being acceptable. It is now more important than ever to know what is acceptable, to yourself, and from what you see and goes on around you. And there is a lot of unacceptable going on. But not liking it doesn’t stop it, indeed not. And maybe that is why the internet has become the focus point for much of this outpouring, because you can, and it is so easy, especially while hidden behind a screen so you don’t have to face the consequences as you would have in real life. Keyboard warriors as we know them.

You aren’t supposed to express yourself these days with natural normal feelings, of say, anger, or sadness or even happiness. People will accuse you of minimising them, of being toxic, or hurting them, or of trying to get attention. Just because you are sharing your experience, but weirdly it becomes about them or their interpretation of it, not about you anymore at all. Sound familiar? So, what could have been used for good, has been hijacked through mis-regulation and has been allowed to fester and gather momentum. Because they want to see people squabbling, hating, arguing, mistrusting and fighting. It serves a purpose. Remember what inevitably always happened in the big brother house series? People put together in a fully monitored, controlled environment, with triggers and manipulations to facilitate and study behaviour. Well, the internet is a larger version of that, and a whole lot more car crash because it is more people, a bigger domain with more variables, manipulators and outcomes. It seems that it was always meant to be this way.

Showing the worst of yourself used to be frowned upon, and still is to some and could just be a by-product of our Victorian times. But an interesting and varied band of completely shameless people, across the board, like to stir the pot, inflame things, shout victim and use various manipulative practices to ‘get their own way’ or just to cause drama through boredom or dysfunction. And that is the point, often in these causes for ‘justice’ there is a very personal motive or agenda at play and are working for their own ends. Unfortunately, many seem to find themselves caught up in it, sometimes. Whether you realise it or not, people often allow themselves to be, for a variety of reasons. But bullies, narcissists and psychopaths often have some very likeable traits and aspects of their personality make up, so it is easy for them to be overlooked, mistaken for something else or even accepted as they are. They know to put forward what appears to be the best, with a goal of achieving what they want. That can be useful if the purpose is indeed a noble one, but often that is not the case.

We all have things about us that will be unlikeable to some, and many of us are OK with that. It seems there are quite a few though, who have never learnt to deal with that reality or just can’t accept it. Thinking it is a slight on them, or a dysfunction in the other person. No, just simple, they do not like you. And they do not have to. Having ‘thick skin’ used to be the saying, or ‘water off a ducks back’. To be able to not make a big deal of the small things and try and find common ground, even if you don’t in fact ‘like’ that person. Sounds like wishful thinking doesn’t it? And on the internet maybe it is, but in real life it works for lots of people, and makes for a slightly less stressful life. Not everyone who works together likes each other, hell, even some married couples don’t appear to like each other. Yet a status quo and a civility of conduct is maintained, that is not beyond a reasonable expectation of others to display. Drama will find you now and again through time, experience and no fault of your own, so there is really no need to seek it out or jump on board to be part of somebody else’s. But if you do find yourself caught up in some, know that how you view it and ultimately feed it will help to determine its outcome. As can be said of much going on right now…

(c) K Wicks