Being Afraid

What is it you are afraid of? Your surroundings? Your government? Are you afraid to be yourself? If you answer yes to any of those questions, do you ask yourself why that is? I have written a few pieces on fear, covered in Sensing fear, but wanted to look at the words behind it, and how we use them to express what we think it is that we are feeling. And how others then see and may perceive that differently.

Afraid – “feeling fear or anxiety; frightened”.

Are you hesitant, apprehensive, scared? We have many words for this, but with those words also comes different meaning – which can be interpreted differently by people. As we know. Anxiety is also put in there, which seems to be a big thing these days, and to be honest, I get it, there is much to be anxious about, and not entirely by accident I feel. Because we humans are prone to feelings, and we have internal alarm systems that not everyone is aware of, or have not quite harnessed yet. Triggers to tell you something is wrong, feelings to alert you to possible dangers or just to keep a look out. Surely that’s normal? So, at what point is it deemed not normal? Enough so to whip out a prescription book and make sure those feelings are numbed, or suppressed, or removed altogether. We know that prescription drugs can have all sorts of side effects, covered in An error, but a big one, but further to that, I wonder if by turning off or supressing the natural instinct and workings, that in itself could create a type of anxiety or at least an internal reaction. Like driving at night and the lights on the car start to get dimmer and dimmer, and then stop working. But the car still runs, and you have to keep driving, but whereas with light and seeing where you are going, it was easy. Suddenly, it’s dark and perilous, doesn’t feel safe, so your heart level goes up, you start sweating, your breathing shallows to cope with the extra concentration needed to just drive. And you don’t know how long the road is, if it will get light again, or if you could steer off into a river, or a cliff at any moment. So, you grip the steering wheel, so tightly you think your fingers will break and you might stop breathing just from the overwhelming sense of dread. Unfortunately, that can describe either being dulled out of life by drugs, or simply just by life itself, anxiety can be caused by life, and by not experiencing it properly. It’s tough, and definition of words, their meanings, and what follows on from that is important too.

Phobia – “an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something”

Now this is quite puzzling to me to have two different meanings within that definition, which is where I believe we get confused when people say that can’t be a phobia, because there is no irrational fear, just dislike. Meaning they, as I, didn’t fully understand there was a double meaning going on there.

Aversion – “a strong dislike or disinclination”

Disinclination – “a reluctance or lack of enthusiasm.”

Strange isn’t it to have such different meanings when it would seem clear cut, phobia to me should mean irrational fear, aversion should mean strong dislike. Even disinclination means two things, being reluctant, or lacking enthusiasm. And again, those two can come from very different places within someone’s mindset or thought process. Reluctant being more hesitant, and lacking enthusiasm to me meaning can’t be bothered, or isn’t motivated towards it. So, when we think we understand what we are saying when we use those words, and what others are saying, may indeed be quite different. Which is why being able to effectively communicate what you think, and understanding what it means is important. Because when you believe you are saying one thing, using the correct and clear words, someone else may be hearing something else entirely.

An Alan Greenspan quote springs to mind on this

I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant

So, can you perhaps see why it can be very easy to miscommunicate with someone, unless you are taking the time to understand as well as convey your own thoughts and feelings. Many suffer from impatience when it comes to others talking, and I wonder sometimes if it is because they are not paying attention and would rather be somewhere else, are perhaps not fully understanding the conversation, or could be they are just plain rude. It’s tricky working out which one it is sometimes without just coming out and asking, so I do ask, because if I am taking the time to talk to someone, I do not want my time wasted, or theirs, so it needs to be a beneficial exchange.

And recently, words have been weaponized and redefined, making it even harder for some people to communicate without being able to navigate the way in which they are supposed to talk and think according to society at the time. This is why I wonder if there are more people who are afraid to be themselves than we realise, fearing the repercussions of having their own opinion, own ideas, own perspective, own identity, because it will be shouted down, ridiculed or persecuted. So, maybe it seems easier to just follow the crowd, be seen as a parrot, or be ‘sheep’ as people often call the masses, as they can just get on and get by, without too much fuss. Don’t Rock The Boat they say. But what if you are sat in someone else’s boat, and you don’t want to be there? You can see your boat just over there, waiting for you to take you on your adventure, yet here you are stuck in someone else’s, being talked at, told what to do, with no end in sight, and for no good reason. Suddenly the saying don’t rock the boat doesn’t seem so applicable does it, because with that thinking, you’ll never get to your boat, if you get my meaning. And when people say things like, we are all in the same boat, I often think what a clever way to get people instantly ‘on board’, you see, they have other words to make the metaphor even more meaningful. Yet, I still saw though it and realised that it was their boat, and their direction, meaning you are only a shipmate and being taken along for a ride. You can never be the captain of someone else’s ship, remember that. And when it comes to being afraid, I get it, it can be daunting to be at the helm of your own life, being the centre piece, the lead role and the director and the writer, all the time. And I understand why people sometimes might want to be an extra, or a bit part, or behind the scenes and not have or take any responsibility. But I also understand that some people who relish the leading role, will want their own extras, locations, props and people to run around helping to make them the star in their own life, which is where it can become destructive, if ‘the extra’ to their life isn’t aware that’s what they are.

So, while we are trying to work everything out and get through life, we are also being constantly bombarded by things to trigger our senses, and often we are not allowed, or are restricted from indulging them or acting upon them. We have influences put upon us from day one, and it is nurtured carefully thereafter, with systems, repetition, conditioning and modifications, to have people doing what is expected of them. And if they look like they might be wanting to be independent, another round of medications, another dose of fear and regulations, knowing the triggers have been placed for whatever their choice at that time, having already laid the groundwork through media, education and entertainment. But that only works if it works when needed, the best-laid plans of mice and men and all that…

(c) K Wicks

An Experiment, But A Big One

Many times we have been subject to experiments and tests, knowingly and unknowingly. Medical tests, exams, IQ tests, competitions and grades. But it would seem that while there are tests we see and know of, there are the ones we don’t. And the consequences and results of said tests and experiments can either have a big fall out, go undetected for years, or quite possibly never be revealed. When they are however, it can often go a long way towards understanding how we are viewed, and why it may serve you well to not trust those who pull the strings of society. At the start of this last few years though, it was stated quite clearly that this new drug to be rolled out, was in fact experimental, and only approved under emergency authorisation. That was the first part of the IQ test I guess, where people were openly told what was occurring, and wanted to take part. Then there was extra literature leaning towards the trial ending in 2023 and 2024 I think for a couple of the products, yet still people lined up and seemed to think it was fine, some even relishing the idea of taking part in a trial, to help forward scientific understanding and be part of ‘the cure’. Well, if you have watched I am Legend (or the original Omega Man), you will know how it all goes bad when the cure creates something far worse than the disease and destroys humanity. Just a thought.

And it’s interesting to me to listen to and watch a Dr Corbett discussing the questions surrounding the validity of viruses, and in particular HIV. Potentially in my mind, it is manufactured, and if exists was distributed amongst certain populations perhaps, so they could then use them for other tests. And to test more drugs, which often harm and have a high mortality in themselves. People handing themselves over for a slow and monitored death.

Factor8 scandal – blood scandal of the 80’s but happened in the 70’s and 80’s – where estimates say up to 6,000 people were ‘accidently’ infected with contaminated blood containing Hep c and HIV in some cases. And as a side note wiki says that during that time the NHS seem to have infected around 25,000 – 30,000 people with viruses by way of blood transfusions. Quite a staggering number, isn’t it? Would be even stranger if that blood was given out on purpose wouldn’t it, to get something synthetic circulating. But then you would know what to look for when testing for it perhaps, which is how you might track something, making sure it does what it is meant to. Maybe.

SV40 – “where millions of polio vaccines were distributed which happened to be contaminated with SV40 – From 1955 to 1963, an estimated 10-30% of polio vaccines administered in the US were contaminated with simian virus 40 (SV40). The virus came from monkey kidney cell cultures used to make polio vaccines at that time.” A simian virus that was known to cause cancers and tumours in mice. Another shocker when I first learned about it, again thinking of it from an accidental perspective, believing they could miss something like that, and just chalking it up to ‘the greatness of science makes some mistakes’. Foolish thinking I now believe. But it seems obvious when you delve a bit, that many of the ‘viruses’ that we apparently see that cross from animals to humans, is because we have been tinkering, testing, and mutating things ourselves, trying to circumvent nature in some cases. I always thought it odd we would have biolabs too, where we store and keep the most terrible pathogens, for you know, research. Boggles the mind, which is why I ended up giving it further thought and time.

These examples I reference are just a handful I know about, and there are a multitude from the US, with all their different projects and special files, but here are a few more from the UK, and why I find it so hard to believe, why others find it so hard to believe, that their government would harm them.

“Between 1953 and 1964 top secret trials were carried out using a chemical concoction of zinc cadmium sulphide to simulate how a cloud would disperse biological agents. The unsuspecting population was sprayed covertly with the poisonous compound at least 76 times.”- Cadmium spraying in UK – 1950’s

And we know the military have been using their own foot soldiers as a steady conveyor of guinea pigs for over a century now, strangely with the ‘Spanish Flu’ apparently originating in Ft. Riley in Kansas, and ‘Swine Flu’ also starting at a military base, Ft. Dix in Jersey in 1976. But they are at the helm of many of these ‘tests’ or ‘accidents’.

Nerve gas experiments on soldiers in the UK – “From 1945 to 1989, Porton exposed more than 3,400 human “guinea pigs” to nerve gas. It seems probable that Porton has tested more human subjects with nerve gas, for the longest period of time, than any other scientific establishment in the world” – The past Porton Down can’t hide

“A government report just released provides for the first time a comprehensive official history of Britain’s biological weapons trials between 1940 and 1979. Many of these tests involved releasing potentially dangerous chemicals and micro-organisms over vast swaths of the population without the public being told.” – Millions were in germ war tests, listing over 100 covert operations. Also interestingly in that article it says “The report reveals that military personnel were briefed to tell any ‘inquisitive inquirer’ the trials were part of research projects into weather and air pollution.”

So, I personally find it incredibly easy with the evidence so far presented and what I know, to believe that our government, and all governments, are hiding things from us, and do not have our best interests at heart. They have theirs at heart, and use strategy and safety as tools of control, and mechanisms of fear to keep their wheel of industry turning. With each little nut and bolt, every cog and gear playing their part to make it work. That’s probably why they want robots to replace people, or to roboticize the people they might need, because people as we are now, aren’t quite fitting the mould they have spent decades shaping us for, or we did, and now that purpose is done, they have a new mould to fill. So, we are surplus to requirement in their mind perhaps, but they need a way to ‘scale us back’ without it appearing as though they are, well not to everyone anyway. And of course, there is the option that it could all be a carefully crafted conspiracy, and they want you to think there was a plan that nefarious organisations are trying to coordinate a world takeover, because in real life things like that just don’t happen. Do they?

(c) MKW Publishing

Conversion, Can Work Both Ways

I always thought it seemed entirely possible, some people have been reverse engineered mentally, many in fact. So, rather than just end up the way they were by normal experiences and natural environment alone, there has been a great amount of influence and manipulation to steer the personality, or behaviour to the desired result. Behaviour modification programs have been with us for quite some time, under the guise of ‘research’ at first, or ‘marketing’ then obviously is taken by organisations and institutions that wish to control people, what they think, what they say and ultimately, what they do.

A couple of my articles already have already touched on this – The three D’s of conversion under Coercion, and Nudge Nudge, but moving on from internal lab experiments like Pavlov and Skinner had conducted, around the 60’s and 70’s, the various institutions decided they needed bigger test groups, real life settings and unsuspecting candidates. Ethics seems to have been adapted as necessary, if it seems too edgy or is being questioned, say it’s military and for national security. That seems to have been the golden ticket for much, going back quite some time. Say something is under threat, and it seems you can do anything, as long as you say you are trying to save them you can literally do the complete opposite, but as long you say it, that’s fine. Apparently. Trust what people do, not what they say, and if the two match up no problem.

They also spend a lot of money and time working out our behaviours so they could ‘motivate’ us to buy what they wanted, and think how they wanted towards things, highlighted here in Consumerism. But I had already thought on from it being just about shopping habits when I was much younger, when the argument of computer games and movies came up all those years ago in the media. It was being said that the level of violence and horror children were being exposed to, would be harmful to them and would affect their mentality. I was into horror films, and loved computer games when they first became affordable and mainstream, spent time like everyone else indulging in them. All that carefully crafted information to go in, in whichever format the input was being presented, either books, films or games, or from the media. You can’t help but accept that some of it is retained, or helps to form your view on things, or think through scenarios you would otherwise have never even been exposed to the concept, let alone a full simulated version of it. And for the people who are able to imagine and picture things in mind, maybe more than others, are they affected more? Did they work out that with clever triggers, followed up by certain conditions they could create a few ‘abnormals’ as I will call them. It’s highly likely that some people have strayed off the map on their own, with the overload of stimulation and simulation going on, it can get too much. But when you add into that maybe let’s say, anti-psychotic drugs, which seems to apparently be a running theme with school shooters in America, could that be what leads to a breaking down of being able to view the world through clear eyes, or with a clear mind?

Being disconnected from reality, as it might be called, is something that cannot really be defined, despite it being ‘a thing’. Whose reality are we going by to judge the scale? Is it really reality you are disconnected from? Or are you connected to actual reality, and it’s the alternate one telling you to drift off into it and drawing you in with bright, shiny, moving objects? I take it that they are talking about the shared reality, which is discussed more in Separate realities, but the version we all have to take part in interacting with people and society. Also makes me wonder, would we notice so much, if parts of the simulated reality started to creep into real life? Many have likened recent events to episodes of the TV series Black Mirror, which I confess I haven’t seen, but would make sense give my other speculations on Prepped for Disaster, or clever programming?, that there is a reason it all seems to familiar, and recognisable. Because it is meant to, making it much easier to shape and steer the public perception of something.

I also thought it could be applicable with certain deviances and dysfunctions within society currently, which are not new, but seem rather prevalent at the moment. Paedophilia, and the way it appears to have infiltrated every part and level of society. Entertainment, fashion, institutions, the media etc, and all the other areas we already knew of. So, is it that there has been an explosion of them, and of sexual deviants generally? Or is it the media perception telling us that? Or, have the people shapers been carefully crafting a type of person they wish to be prevalent within society? Through timely exposures, and clever marketing, films, news stories and generally using all they know about how people develop with sexuality. I wondered this also through reading about some of the ideals of conversion therapy, and its early experiments and uses on people. And it occurred to me, if they could use that repeatedly on someone to try and stop them being homosexual, surely, they would have tried it the other way round too, because that’s the type of thing they would do. You know, ‘just to see if it works’. Then apply that to any type of behaviour, sexual or otherwise, and imagine they could then create people with either short or long-term afflictions or desires, which suite a purpose for them. Either to create industry, push an agenda, or have as tool for later use within society. And of course, it could well be that it really was always that common, just hidden, and it’s only now it seems to be held over so many, in so many walks of life, I can’t help thinking there is something else, encouraging it, creating it and facilitating it. For what you might ask, well, leverage. Until they get their way of making it accepted, or at least that seems to the be a push they are going for, could be another distraction. We shall see.

But while all that has been chugging along, they have also been converting the average person and mindset, towards ratings, likes, verification, shares – they are all part of a validation credit system. That may not be in the same monetary terms like the financial social credit system, but it is the other side of the same coin. Financial credit system equals the set up they show you with the QR codes, restricted access, banking, travel and restrictions etc, all based on your economical position within their game of society. And there is your social credit score – or social standing as I guess it used to be called, which will now run alongside it, and be part of it. The amount of data we give them on a daily basis of our like, dislikes, thoughts, fears, dreams, hopes and wants, is more than enough to garner the info needed to know what to do next. How to flick that switch in people, that was put there eons ago and we probably weren’t even aware of it. Like sleeper cells I guess, that we have all been programmed with a different set of instructions along a main theme, or have been party to a subconscious experiment, drawing people in when the time comes. Giving it a central point to collect and mutate, but within restricted boundaries, so the outcome can always be limited, because you set the parameters, and everyone plays within them. If you only play the game of Monopoly, it is unlikely you will ever win a game of Risk, if you catch my drift…

(c) K Wicks

Just Passing Through

A cross between Ellis Island, Heathrow and Alcatraz with the general overtones of a Victorian work house. Or as we know it, Britain. It would appear that lovely green and pleasant land we were brought up to believe this was, is no longer so, and potentially was always a myth and part of the illusion. Because none of this is new, what we see around us, it’s just a ramped up out in the open version. We have had class divides, credit systems, and ways to keep people down for more than an age or two. Royalty and lords of the manor dictating and ruling, politicians and lords of the house, lining their pockets and futures at the expense of everyone else’s. Walls, fences and boundaries to keep you off their land, now even more so with corporations and institutions being the face of it, or lack of face of it rather, making it all the harder to focus on one person being the problem, they have many. Boards and committees, CEO, CFO, executives etc. Ways to dilute the responsibility or side step it altogether. Or, they will throw one of their own to the wolves, when necessary, as a show of good faith, I guess. But like the hydra, cut off one head, and there are many more to replace it. It’s like a well-oiled machine now.

But it really does seem, when you think about it, that Britain is a bit of a hub for trafficking of people. Funny really, because you would think as an island, it would be easier to control that kind of thing, and manage effectively. Which is why you realise it’s orchestrated. People are a huge commodity, and have been traded and used, for as long as we know of. I’ll use Britain as the main example as that is where I grew up, and going by what is written as accepted history, it seems we have stolen our own people as well as others, but there are British, French, German, Dutch and other European colonies all over the world. When I had learned of it all as a child, I stupidly thought it was like a magical adventure, people would have been offered new lives, free travel and an opportunity to settle and make a life in newly discovered awesome places. Not quite comprehending the sweep and clear missions to get rid of the people already there. And learning years later of what occurred to many sent to Australia, who in fact were taken from orphanages, and even lied to that their parents had died, just to have a workforce and people to condition to their way. That’s where I realise that child labour or slavery serves a purpose over adults. Children are less likely to revolt, or question things, or know how to organise. Also, easier to make them believe they are alone with no-one to help them, must have been awful for them, thinking as well they were going to start a new wonderful life, until you got there and were treated like crap. Perhaps then making for a rather downtrodden population thereafter, prone to trauma triggers because the whole society started as that. Just a theory, who knows for sure. Here is another quite stunning piece of history, which given what we know of ‘care services’ and child trafficking today, raises many questions in my mind.

“The Orphan Train Movement was a supervised welfare program that transported children from crowded Eastern cities of the United States to foster homes located largely in rural areas of the Midwest. The orphan trains operated between 1854 and 1929, relocating about 200,000 children.”

I also find it interesting that it coincides with the Industrial revolution period, and notably in my mind, a series of World’s fairs –

From Wikipedia – Industrialization (1851–1938) – The first era, the era of “industrialization”, roughly covered the years from 1850 to 1938. In these years, world expositions were largely focused on trade and displayed technological advances and inventions. World expositions were platforms for state-of-the-art science and technology from around the world. The world expositions of 1851 London1853 New York1862 London1876 PhiladelphiaParis 18781888 Barcelona1889 Paris1891 Prague1893 Chicago1897 Brussels1900 Paris1904 St. Louis1915 San Francisco, and 1933–34 Chicago were notable in this respect

I wonder if some of those fairs, were also a handy way to relocate people, and buy and sell what they needed for the industrious projects. People. I’m sure it’s no secret they would acquire skilled people at these ‘events’, but there is always the side you aren’t obviously aware of, and often more than one purpose for something so grand and opulent. Many questions arise when you start to look at the details of some of them. Weird passports to get into them, workbooks, grades and numbers being assigned to the ‘guests’. Seems more like an odd training camp or university, rather than just a gathering of inventions and science of the future. Like I said, interesting.

But at the moment, it’s really not a secret, and in fact for quite some time, it looks as though people are being deliberately encouraged to come here, but not as a registered citizen by normal means that others have to follow. No, no. They want them to arrive with nothing essentially. So, why is that? So they can give them things? Or perhaps they require new citizens, and it’s easier to just sort of poach someone else’s. Often after you have ruined the area those people may need to leave from, convenient huh? But recently it seems more and more are coming from all sorts of places, and ending up here. A tiny island, often cold and wet with limited land options after all those walls and boundaries add up. Can’t be for the ordinary opportunities you or I may be thinking of. More like a Mos Eisley kind of feel to it, rather than Little House on the Prairie. So, would anyone notice if a few hundred undocumented people went missing? Or more? Who would know? It may well be that there is more than one opportunity going on, we shall see. Either way, it’s a shit storm that has been created and as usual, the people On the ground will be the pawns in it…

(c) K Wicks