There are many situations in life you may find you need to walk away from, I realise I have from many. But only after I feel it has run its course. This may apply to jobs, friendships, arguments, interests or anything really where it appears to someone else that you are either just leaving or ending something, sometimes others will presume for no reason. But that is where you often get to choose. Do you divulge the real reason, the honest and brutal reason? Or do you go with being diplomatic and giving a reason that doesn’t offend and to a point, keeps the peace?

That may depend on which type of person you are, or it’s something that might change with age, I’m not sure yet. All I know is that as I get older, my tolerance becomes stronger, yet shorter, I can put up with more, but why should I?

I have doubts like everyone else (or at least most people), but it is what you choose to do with that doubt that can either steer you in the right direction, or hold you in the wrong place. Many a year has been lost to those that dither. Myself included. Doubt is what usually leads to either indecision, bad decision making or giving something extra considered thought. Only one of those is purposeful, and you usually don’t get to choose which one your brain will go with or be able to recognise which one is currently being employed for said situation. Often it will either be pointed out to you, or you will realise through hindsight which one would have been appropriate. Unfortunately, real life doesn’t wait until you work it out, so thinking on your feet and decision making is required, whether you can do it or not.

But decisions and doubts can dictate an awful lot of your life, whether we realise or not, or give them thought or not, they occur. Maybe I have given this more thought than the average Joe, being a bit haunted and plagued by certain decisions that have come about and the pressure of them, here is a previous article I did on that particular feeling – Decisions.

So, back to the first line, and the question that goes with it. How does one know when something has run its course? To know that, you need to have been paying attention, to your own situation, environment, surroundings and state of mind. Otherwise how can you possibly come to that conclusion, unless there is something to conclude? So a thought process needs to be engaged, to think through the situation you find yourself in or have created and are the centre star.

Ordinarily, I would say, once you know it’s time to leave, just go. But age and experience has taught me different, to know that is not always as easy as it seems. To some people it is, they see the problem and the solution and there is no grey area or in between. Great, for them. But for others there is an in between, and plenty of grey area, because there are consequences and outcomes which some people consider, too much perhaps and it stops them actually going through with things. Or how they believe they will be perceived by other people, not wanting to appear a certain way, or to be seen to be doing something. So many lives are halted, interrupted, side-tracked or just simply wasted by wanting to please others, or by not taking responsibility for their own health, happiness and stability. But there is a little secret about why that is, and probably why no-one talks about it, because it’s deep inside each of us and we like to think it isn’t there. But it is there, and it is us, all the faces and thoughts that make each of us an individual and our own person. And not being funny, it would appear to much to bear for lots of people, to really look at and into themselves, to understand want, motive and intention. Admitting we are meant to be a little bit selfish, and self-serving, but not at the cost of others. Why not make sure you are ok first, and then help others? Looking out for number one, does not mean you can’t be concerned and helpful towards all the other numbers, if you catch my drift. Not all have the capacity it seems to understand that though, and others don’t want to admit what they are, whatever that is. And it has left us in a quite a bind now I feel, because if a person doesn’t want to be an individual or who they are, and want an overriding authority to make their choices and be in charge of decision making or if they are allowed to do things, then you hand yourself over to another set up, and one we have been conditioned to accept for many a generation.

It’s been nurtured and cultivated. I guess we call it group mentality, or the idea of socialism in its current context to some. Or of being easy to manipulate or influence and control, to others. Depends on your own personal perspective. But you are told to believe it is for the greater good, for the benefit of others. Be selfless. And on the face of it, it appears to be a way to make everything cohesive, and compliant. For each part to play their set role, for the bigger picture. Unfortunately, that ideal completely overlooks the individual, human needs and desires, and needs an awful lot of rules and regulations to ‘make it work’. It is not a natural process or state for us to put aside or overlook our own personal safety and security for others on a continuous and daily basis, it has to be conditioned and enforced, and does not come naturally. Obviously, otherwise we wouldn’t have made it this far. And it surely cannot have escaped peoples notice that the ones who decide what is ‘fair and equal’ do so with it conveniently not applying to them. It really is do as I say, but not as I do.

People as a general observation also don’t like change, and will sometimes accept what is either uncomfortable or unpleasant, simply because it is familiar. But deep down they know, and will try everything they can to supress it, dampen it, distract it and hide it. Self-denial I believe is the term for that, and one that appears quite prevalent. But admitting you have had enough, should not be seen as a failure on your part, but merely making a decision to not waste anymore of your time. People seem to have forgotten how precious time really is and freely give it away on the rantings and lies of madmen (and women). It is something you cannot buy more of and you cannot get it back. And what goes with it, life, love, loss and experience – all of those things that build our characters, and shape who we become have been tampered with so much that I really do wonder how we can be what we are meant to. Or maybe this is the turning point, where we must start to really look at what we are and where this is all going? Because if we don’t want their vision of the future to unfold, we need to be planning a new one ourselves…

(c) K Wicks