It’s funny really, not entirely in a humorous way either. There was an incident that at the time didn’t really seem like an incident to me, it seemed only as if it were a minor thing that didn’t mean anything, brushed aside as a mild lapse in judgement or of my mind being somewhere else. But to the person with me, my husband, it was an incident. It’s taken me a couple of years to recognise what it was and to apply that new knowledge.
We were at a safari park in the UK driving through the enclosures seeing the wolves and big cats. We love photography and took the opportunity to take pictures when we could, but following cars and windows up most of the time made this quite difficult. So when the car in front slowed to a stop, we too stopped and with the window down, i started to try and focus on the tigers ahead of us, not behind fences, but actually in front of us. The car in front had a group of lads making noises at the tiger and i suppose you would say slightly taunting it. I thought this was a marvelous opportunity to get better pictures as the tiger stood up and slowly pottered towards the cars. My husband instructed me to close the window. I did not, instead I looked at him with dismay and confusion. ‘But the picture’ i said. There was a talk after this. And many times it has been referred to as ‘The Lion Moment’ (despite the animal in question being a tiger), when he is trying to convey to me how i missed the danger and need to be more aware.
It’s bothered me for a while, but I did not know why. I am aware, I like to think I keep safe and can spot developing hazards or dangers, I am interested in psychology and have spent much time looking into the fight or flight mechanism that exists. And it took a conversation of another incident for me to realise my own flaws in this area.
I was on a train, it had just left Kemble station in Gloucestershire, when within a few minutes we came to a stop. We weren’t sure why and there was no announcement so we sat and waited, a few people looking round to see if anything could be seen. Shortly we were made aware of the issue as we could see very dark smoke starting to go past our carriage outside, looks of concern were exchanged and we closed the windows to stop the smoke coming in. Still we weren’t being told anything, but still we sat, and waited.
Within another five minutes a number of fire engines arrived outside. We couldn’t see the full commotion but people were starting to talk to each other now, asking what could be going on, wondering if we were safe, commenting on the impending issue and possible danger. Mostly, the wondering was when were we going to be told what to do, when would someone come and tell us we were in danger. And there was the problem, i recognised it there, but not fully what it was. For some reason, no-one in the whole carriage had the forethought or presence of mind to take the lead and go and ask someone, or use the emergency exit just to be safe. If it were a worse fire, i hate to think we all would have just burned to death just because we didn’t react.
But for me, it’s made me look and how i think and realise that perhaps i do not perceive danger or the need to react quickly in the same way other people do. Also strange that I would assume all people to think alike or perceive anything the same way, but for whatever reason, the mechanism in the brain that signals the danger or the reaction needed to survive it, just simply doesn’t deploy. There is a shutdown instead. I believe this is considered the third ‘F’ option after fight or flight, and it’s freeze. It’s amazing what our brain is up to either consciously or sub-consciously but I like to think trying to understanding the why’s and how’s makes it all just a little bit more interesting…
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